Failing Creatively: Where have you been!!
Why moving breaks the best intentions.
I have started and stopped writing the post so many times since I last had a post. All in futile attempts to get back on track. I had goals with the start of 2025 that I would work ahead and be proactive to keep my good news and art blog/substack flowing and going strong. This blog is appropriately named failing creatively because when life gets chaotic, we all fail.
And here we are, the beginning of May, and this is my third or fourth time attempting to write about this. So, here is the skinny for the fourth or fifth attempt. 🤦♀️
So this all starts for me around late October or November. We had been growing out of our small home for some time. Kids growing and in-laws visiting for long stretches tend to put a strain on small homes, and while we loved our little house, it was time. We found a larger home not far from my kids’ schools, and most importantly, it wouldn’t change our school assignments (as a person who grew up moving around, I really wanted my kids to be able to stay in one place).
Along with moving, my brother got married, and we were traveling for that just in time for the holidays to start kicking into full swing. We then closed on the new house right before Christmas, and that meant beginning more moving while trying to enjoy the holidays. All this was going on while working, managing my kids’ schedules, and making time for weekly drawings for the blog/substack. By January, I was struggling to keep up, and while I thought I had planned for the holidays and life so that I could be ahead this year, I hit a wall that I just couldn’t get past, and then the dreaded burnout set in.
I have never in my life experienced anything like the burnout I felt at the beginning of 2025. I had no motivation to do any fun projects. The good news, as well as my art blog/Substack, were the two things I really did not want to drop. However, I could barely keep the work I had to do going, and to top it all off, I still had to paint a house, organize packing, and move a family from one house to another. Every week, I would try to work on the good news or an art post, and I would find it hard to even muster 10 minutes to work or rework something that I would be happy with.
As the days turned to weeks and the kids’ schedules got more chaotic, I even found it hard to cook, something that I really enjoy doing. Crochet, video games, even reading was difficult to find time for, let alone work or creative pursuits. Even if I found some time, it was never enough, and I did my best to keep my workload down, which I hoped would mean that I could have more time for creating and working on projects that would bring in more illustration work, or at least make me a better artist. Yet, try as I might, the time always slipped away.
I don’t want you all thinking there weren’t good things going on too. My kids were both in plays, and I couldn’t be more proud of them. We are also blessed enough to be able to move into a bigger home when we needed to, which is not something everyone is able to do. My kids make everything I do worthwhile, and I feel lucky to have a job that allows me to coach my kids soccer or get them to practice.
That said, there was so much, and I just couldn’t find a way to balance it all. It made me realize that I needed to be more patient with myself and take the time I needed to get my head on straight. Between AI feeling like an overwhelming and unavoidable force that is coming for my job (I see all you , and the just inability to keep up with all I had on my plate, I think it was hard to find the why for my day-to-day.
As weeks turned to months, I think I found my why though. My why is that I want to make books that make kids say to their parents, “Read it again!!” My why is that while I have never been great with social media or promoting my work, I love the people who are here and want to see it. I love that my good news posts make even one person smile. I love that people like my silly art even if there aren’t many. And I love trying to find ways to inject humor into my art. And most importantly, I love the way I feel when my kids laugh at my silly art and cartoons.
Given how behind the curve I always am, I will probably never be a famous artist or children’s book author, but I get joy just seeing that 10 people read my blog/substack each week. And in all reality, that became my why. I enjoy finding good news and looking up art projects to try to improve, and hopefully, my absence hasn’t scared you all away.
Till next time keep failing creatively, and see you next week with some good news.
Thank you so much for joining me on my journey.
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Hang in there! You can only do the best you can do with the time, energy & information you have each day. BTW, I think the word "behind" (as in - "I'm so behind") has very negative connotations + shades of self-criticism, not meeting expectations, etc. I like to try to use "catching up" and "learning" and "growing" as alternatives. 😊